I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Mom said you looked used
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
