my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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