That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
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he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
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I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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