so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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