You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
