Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
