My first STD was from a foam party
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
