What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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