i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
