Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
