$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
