I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I wish i was in the wii world.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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