The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Randomize
