u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
