Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
