We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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