The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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