Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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