there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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