I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
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