I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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