YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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