he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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