The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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