That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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