Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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