life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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