the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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