ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
