ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize