i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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