Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
