I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I wish you could order shots online.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
