Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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