I think im going to throw up on grandma
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Randomize
