Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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