we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
