i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
