Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
