Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
