nutella sex= disaster
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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