i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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