umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Also, beer. Big fan.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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