I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
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can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
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then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
So vagazzling was a success
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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