Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
