doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
