I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
