in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Did you pee in the oven last night??
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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