Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
