While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize