i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
