You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
then he tried to convert me to islam
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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