people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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