I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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