we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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