Pants 0. Shit 1.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
