Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize