Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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