last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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